Cindy.Chen



About ME

+25th Jan 1988.
+20 years old
+PSBAcademy.
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    Saturday, October 20, 2012
    I guess blogging still kinda helps in a way!

    Felt slightly better after writing my previous entry and i did a self-reflection. Like i've said, we tend to take things for granted knowing that our family will be there no matter what. But then again, nothing will ever stay the same. Things might change a few years down the road, and i'd probably regret my actions if i were to read it in a few years time and hoping to amend my mistakes etc when its all too late.  So yup, time to change my terrible attitude!

    My assignments have been piling up and it's not good because i know i'm a procrastinator when it comes to studies. I will just rush through my essays at the eleventh hour and keep cursing and swearing at myself for being so last minute (ALL THE TIME) and would promise (but never kept to it) to start my revision/assignment earlier! -_-"

    It's such a bad habit which i think i'd never be able to kick off!

    One more year, Cindy. One more year and everything will be over! For studies at least! I seriously can't wait. Yeah yeah, i'm used to hearing the 'studying is always better than working' theory but when people say that, more often than not, they tend to forget about the assignments and exams part!

    So yes, constantly reminding myself to tahan for just 1 more bloody year. And i'll be done!

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    cindy [ 1:51 AM ]

    Tuesday, October 16, 2012
    Lately, i feel my attitude sucks..and i don't know why!
    I get so annoyed by little things and would flare at people whom i love most, my family.:( 


    I know it's not right and we human always take things for granted knowing that family would never forsake us no matter how we treat them. And i really hate myself for that.

    I honestly don't know what has happened to me. It's like i feel my attitude changed ever since the starting of October for whatever (i don't even know!) reasons. 


    It's a ritual my dad would drop me to school on Saturday mornings before heading to gramps and usually, we will have endless topics to talk about. Like really endless and i would always hope the ride was longer. But for the past couple of weeks, i had nothing to talk to him about. Or rather, i just didn't feel like talking. 

    I don't know.


    My mom too. I was so angry with her yesterday, i actually slammed the door at her. Of course i felt really guilty after that but i just can't bring myself to apologise. For some reason, i'm really scared that the 'old' me is back. That rebellion and not give a damn to anything or anyone 'me'. 


    JUST WHAT THE F*** IS WRONG WITH ME THESEDAYS?!?!!?!?IT'S REALLY DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!
    Argh!


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    cindy [ 11:19 AM ]

    Tuesday, October 02, 2012

    Alright,let's not dwell on the negative thoughts.Anyways..the other day I was feeling alil bored and I went on to send out my résumé for the fun of it.I know right,itchy fingers!


    So yup,of the 5 job postings I sent out,I had 3 replies.And yesterday was my 'training' day.Well it's an enrichment centre AGAIN(yes,I tend to go into this direction) and basically it's like a programme coordinator.Just gonna work for the month of Oct though because I actually turned down the offer but the person-in-charge was so desperate for someone to work as 2 of the staffs are going on leave so I thought,why not.Doesn't hurt to earn extra money right?!:)


    Well the people there are nice but I somehow miss the good old days working in pro musique!:( Miss being the lao jiao (old bird = someone who's experienced in what they do) and of course the people and the environment!I think it's probably gonna be my fav job of all time but I don't think it's a job cus i really enjoy working there!Can't believe I was there for 3 years!Definitely didn't feel like it was so long.


    Yup,tomorrow will be my 2nd day there and hopefully everything would turn out well!


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    cindy [ 7:04 PM ]

    It's quite sad but i realised 'friends' only come to me when they have no one else to turn to.What,i'm a spare tyre ah?I've lost the number of times of always been there for those who needed me but when I need them,they are nowhere to be found.Or for some,they complain about others and then the next moment,you see them being 'BFF' once again.Child's play really.And that is why I've stop making the effort for those whom I think is not worth it.

    There's only a handful whom I feel are genuinely appreciative of me while the rest are just..you know.Damn sad for these people.They don't realised how sometimes their action speaks a thousand words and how it reflects badly on their character.They take for granted people who truly cares and then keep blaming those who really don't give a damn.Stupidity i say.

    And,I should probably need to stop making myself so easily available too,right?

    Yes,I will.

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    cindy [ 2:09 PM ]